Sunday, April 19, 2009

the top of rock bottom

please excuse the mess, I am under construction. 

I am a mess. a beautiful, ravenous mess. I will have my way with this journey. I will carve out this path. I will make decisions that shock and horrify. I will betray others so as not to betray myself. I will not look back.

I will eat giant pieces of charred meat in the middle of the street. I will drink tall boys during the day. I will sing too loudly in quiet places. I will take long solitary walks up steep hills. I will laugh at inappropriate jokes and cry at silly things. I will forget to eat. I will struggle to sleep. I will embrace the cliche of a meltdown. I will melt and rise up, a microwaved marshmallow. some graham crackers and some chocolate and I will become s'more and s'more amazing each day. it may be sticky, but it is oh-so-delicious and well worth the mess.


Fiafiabobia said...

I'm totally creeping on your blog. But really it's because I read one of your most recent entries and felt like I knew exactly what you were talking about. It really hit home for me. Not really sure how much you get this but I found your blog through instagram and I found your instagram from your boyfriends band (which I love). I know it's kinda weird and yeah, I might have had a lot of time on my hands when I found you but I'm glad I did.

I feel like things happen for a reason and I found your blog at what seems like the absolute perfect time when my life feels like it's in ruin. I'm trying to cope and move on and little words here and there from your entries have made getting along in life easier.

Some things that you've said on here were so inspiring that I've even put it on my wall (chalkboard painted) so I can read it over again to remind myself that I'm not alone and that people have gone through what I'm going through now. I've been aware that others have gone through this but it's different to me. I guess to see it in writing makes it click more in my brain.

I'm not even sure why that's such a difficult thing to get through my head.

In short, I'm just glad I found your blog and I really hope that you don't stop writing.

Thank you for giving me hope.


bethany toews said...

dearest s,

I'm so glad my words were found by you, and that they offered you some comfort and hope. that's why I write, so I'm glad to know when it works :)

keep on living and loving and finding inspiration wherever you can.

much love,