Saturday, January 5, 2008

new year's evolutions

ev·o·lu·tion (ěv'ə-lōō'shən, ē'və-) n.

A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form.

pa·tience (pā'shəns) n.

an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.

There are no shortcuts in evolution. ~Louis D. Brandeis

instant gratification isn't all that gratifying when you think about it. the satisfaction of a moment is fleeting, but the gradual, arduous and oftentimes painful process of growth and change is the fat that really sticks to our bones. being able to look at our yearbooks and laugh means a great deal more than it did to get our prom pictures back in an hour. look how far we've come. look how much we've figured out. and then, of course, the realization that the fresh kicks on our feet now, will one day be as dismissible as the double-laced BK's of yore.

with the new year already shedding days, I find myself mixing a sense of satisfaction with a pinch of panic. I am pleased with who I have become and yet I am overwhelmed by my endless list of all that I have yet to. new year's resolutions are often whittled down to the peeps of easter, but they can be something much more lasting and profound. they can be an engagement ring of sorts we give to ourselves--a reminder that we are committed to a lasting relationship, one that strives to extract all the beauty and potential that made us fall in love in the first place. a catalog of yeses and no's. a record of failed successes and successful failures. a reminder of our all too oft forgotten
raison d'être. a taking stock of what it is we intend to do with this whirling dervish of a life--reflecting on its progress and making plans for more.

I have always made lists of resolutions, not only at the first of the year, but throughout. more than anything, it is a progress report, a sign of awareness--both an acknowledgment of our faults and of our desire to evolve into a higher expression of being. this year I am resolving to be more patient in the endless process of evolution. looking back on the year and on a life lived thus far, I see that patience isn't so much about enduring as it is about believing that everything you need is happening all around you, you just might not know it for a while.

happy new year and every year thereafter.

1 comment:

miss clover said...

oh, girl. i can match you denim glamour shot for denim glamour shot. it's like it was some adolescent fashion zeitgeist.