beginnings can be difficult

in the beginning you are likely to say something you don't mean and will later turn over and over in your head like a jagged stone....


is it hopeless to be romantic? do men just want to spread their seeds like born-agains with their xeroxed prophesies? do women just want to make of their guts a nest and of their breast dispensaries? is romance candlelight and chocolate syrup? is romance piano music and poetry? does love consist of something more that one dysfunctional attempt at connection after the other? is it possible that romance is something beyond castle walls, maybe even something we could sit with in our own living rooms. does romance require another? can you be romantic with yourself (I am speaking of something a bit deeper than lube and a video)? is romance something to be hopeful about? I would like to think so. so I will begin with that.

tonight I went to a wedding, an auspicious beginning for this blog. the vows (written by the bride and groom) were beautiful and genuine and crammed full of some deep ass love. I cried. as I sat there, I thought of the moment you stand, either literally or metaphorically, on the alter and speak of your love for another or yourself or perhaps something you have created. what do you say? do you speak confidently of the ways in which this person or thing has truly changed you into something better, something brighter? has this exchange of love, this romancing of life, stripped away the excess, polished the rough spots, pushed you closer to the big wow? how do we find this worthy sculpture? how do we ready our own knives? get your chisels ready because life is waiting for you to whisper your sweet somethings in its ear. hopefully someone along the way will hear you and want to hear more. stay hopeful. hopelessness is so last year.