white rhodes is the new black

I don't believe I have ever wanted (needed) anything so badly. oh you gorgeous white rhodes mark 7 73, you hold all the songs I haven't yet written. come to me. my apartment is waiting for you and me to fill its silence.

last night

it is 4:04am and I am still awake. calmly I sit in a state of longing. I do not judge it or will it away. I let it tap gently at the gates. a flood awaits.

eventually my lids will tire, but my mind will not--I will let sleep work through the tangles. in the morning I will awake to the gift of one more day. I am better today than the day before and tomorrow I will be better still--but I was enough yesterday. and today? today I have already succeeded--I am here.

I like this

18 rules for living by the dalai lama

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
   1. Respect for self
   2. Respect for others
   3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

our planetary hearts

my super hero heart
your kryptonite eyes
let's create a world together and save it
let's fly away from what we've known
let's pull our minds from the burning buildings of doubt
fall into me as I fall into you and physics will keep us afloat
take off your pants and show me your tights
let's use our powers to return to the stars
we forget too much in the blaze of these city lights
let's remember that night
let's remember that night
I believe in that night
your laser beam gaze
my super human strength
I know we can make a world worth saving
no distance is too great for the speed of light
let's fly away from what we've known
let's pull our minds from the burning buildings of doubt
fall into me as I fall into you and faith will keep us afloat
I will believe in you like the earth believes in its orbit
I won't fight the pull of our planetary hearts

well ok then

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.

No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

~Martha Graham

a cookie once told me

a cookie once told me I have the makings of a winner. I believe the cookie.

I started a tumblr, why not follow me? fun times ahead...

love is the only sane response

I was sitting in a cafe in brooklyn when I looked up to see my love in the new york times. I had been missing him, and there he was, in the cafe with me. strange and wonderful.

life is strange and wonderful and exhausting and exhilarating - much like the trip I just returned from. hotel beds and poorly made sandwiches. melting ice cream cakes and cheering fans. long overdue kisses and sitting in traffic. adventure has its toll. I pay it with little complaint (most of the time). I love its blank pages, my pockets full of magic markers. I fed a stray kitten one night on a cold new york city street. I heard david byrne thank local natives for their "amazing" performance. I took a plane to dc and a van to philly and a train from boston and another plane home again. I walked a lot and slept too little. I had a hand to hold for a few days. I had new experiences with old friends and I grew closer with new friends. love was exchanged, on the streets, in the crowd, in a smelly van.

why on earth would we stay in one place when so much awaits us elsewhere? the journey of an inch of a thought of a moment, I traverse small and great distances hoping to find something new, inside and out. every trip is worth taking, even if you don't leave your chair, go there. everything around us is growing, changing, moving - why should we be any different?

this last day of april

today my friend elaine made up the word beaunicornucopia.

it was that kind of day.

it's been one of those months

I don't know how to sum up, scratch that, I know how to, but do not want to take the copious amounts of energy it would surely take to sum up the last month or so. let's suffice to say, like any month worth its salt, it has been both wonderful and terrible. I have been in search of bolts of enlightningment, which of course deliver quite the painful zap as they illuminate. I have a tale or two to tell. in due time. for now, I sit and ponder and practice scales on the guitar. I want a new guitar. it is time.

oh, and I discovered very recently that I am, in fact, a jedi warrior. super awesome.

I hope this finds you smiling.

the yearning for good

I, the fiery light of divine wisdom,

I ignite the beauty of the plains,

I sparkle the waters.

I burn the sun and the moon and the stars,

With wisdom I order all rightly.

I adorn the earth.

I am the breeze that nurtures all things green.

I am the rain coming from the dew

That causes the grasses to laugh

With the joy of life.

I call forth tears, the aroma of holy work.

I am the yearning for good.

~Hildegard of Bingen

recently

recently I've been experiencing small explosions of inner joy. the quiet kind. soft moments when the light is right. a peaceful sense that I am exactly where I want to be. eyes wide, I move from one now to the next.

south by south mess

sometimes you drink a little too much whiskey. sometimes you try to start a bar fight with a stranger. sometimes you misplace your frustrations and it takes the intervention of a good friend to step in and keep you from getting your teeth knocked out (thanks jamie).

sxsw is not a time for detoxing. it is a time to sing wilson phillips to your liver. "hold on for one more day" rings through your hazy head as you maneuver through far too many drunk people, and strange people, and half naked people, and hungry people and hopeful people. the chaos in tey-hoss. a love-hate relationship seems in order.

I was there to support this year. I'm not sure if I rose to the occasion. I found myself wanting to hole up and savor that strength for my own endeavors. I didn't want to give it away. I felt like being greedy with my words of encouragement. I felt like singing my own songs. there's only so much singing along you can do when your head is full of its own melodies.

I do what I can, sometimes more, sometimes less. I'm learning the sweet spot in the middle. my happy medium. somewhere between shrinking and exploding, I stand on a stage, illuminated by my own inner spotlight. from there, I will shine.